Christmas Curmudgeon

I’m a Christmas curmudgeon.  I am.  And I’m proud of it.  An unapologetic Christmas curmudgeon.

I see the rampant consumerism that’s all but taken over the Christmas holiday.  I see all the effort and energy expended on things that seem beside the point at Christmastime.  And I see the instances of uncivil and anti-Christmas behavior all around.

And it’s not just the pepper spray and mob mentality.  It’s the uncaring, selfish attitudes that many have, even at this time of the year.  I have three family members who work retail.  I’ve heard their stories of snotty customers who think that it’s a major crisis (and the salesperson’s fault) that the store doesn’t have the sweater they want in their size and color.

But overall I think I’ve been quite magnanimous in my curmudgeonhood.  I’ve been walking past Christmas displays for over a month and haven’t intentionally knocked over even one of them.  I’ve shown great restraint in not shouting “Turn off that crap” when I hear yet another sappy rendition of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas” playing over the store PA.  And I mostly kept my self-righteousness to myself last Friday when I drove by stores with parking lots jammed with cars.

But like most self-righteous people, I’m not terribly consistent in the application of my principles.  While I take perverse pleasure in turning up my nose at the Christmas grab-fest that began on Black Friday, I probably begin as many sentences with “What I’d like for Christmas is” as any other person.

Still, when it’s all said and done, I don’t allow myself to get too worked up about the drowning of Christmas under the tidal wave of consumerism.  I walk by the Christmas displays in October.  I close my ears to the insipid Christmas music.  Ultimately, the way I celebrate Christmas is within my own control.

I guess in some ways I’m like Linus in “Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown.”  In contrast to Charlie Brown’s angst and despair about the state of our Christmas observances, I try to keep as calm as I possible and proclaim in a simple and direct way the Christmas story:

“Fear not, for behold I bring you good tidings

of great joy for all the people.

For unto you is born this day

in the city of David a Savior,

who is Christ the Lord.”

Hmm.  After all is said and done, maybe I’m not so much a curmudgeon as an idealist in disguise.  Joy to the world!

In the Ditch

Saturday morning, I joined eight other members of Middleton Community Church in our final roadside cleanup effort of the year.  Earlier this year, we adopted a stretch of Country Highway J a short distance from the church.  The road winds through rolling countryside, with farms, homes, woodlots, and fields all around.  It was a bit cool and overcast, but otherwise a pleasant day to be outside.

We divided into four teams.  Two teams started at the ends and worked toward the middle.  Two teams started in the middle and worked toward the ends.  When the teams met, they turned around and picked up the other side of the road.  A very sensible way to do it!

I worked with Dale Slusser, who’s been attending MCC for a number of years but only recently joined.  He went on our mission trip to Jamaica in June 2010.  He and I, along with Tim Coughlin, were roommates.  We called it the “old farts’ room” since we’re all, well, old farts!  He’s also a regular participant in our Interfaith Hospitality Network ministry, housing homeless families in our church building for a week, three or four times a year.

It was fortunate that Dale was able to be a part of our cleanup effort.  Usually, on the weekend before Thanksgiving, he’s in northern Wisconsin, hunting deer.  But the start of the hunt had to be delayed a day, since the landowner and hunting buddy had to attend his daughter’s wedding!  Poor planning on her part, we agreed!  Still, it was a small price to pay for such a momentous occasion.  Best wishes to the bride and groom in their new life together.

Dale won the award for the most trash collected.  I didn’t actually see all the other bags, but I can’t imagine anyone finding more stuff.  He picked up a lot of bulky stuff: cans, large sheets of paper and plastic, and a quart-sized beer bottle (who drinks beer in quarts?)  I seemed to specialize in cigarette butts.  I must have picked up about two dozen Pall Mall butts.  Whoever, you are: start using the ashtray in your car!

In about an hour, we were all done.  That project is done now until spring.  A small, simple way to keep God’s good earth more tidy and beautiful.

(Click here to see pictures of our clean-up on Middleton Community UCC’s Facebook page.)

A Fall to Remember

Yikes!  Can it really been so long since my last post?  Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted anything.  I’ve never been a diary keeper, so daily (or even weekly) posting hasn’t become a habit yet.  I’ve got a number of articles in mind now, so I should be set for the next few months.  Here’s the first one.

It’s been an eventful fall for the Iliff family, with a number of past and future happenings:

1.     Graduation.  On September 22—his birthday—my son, Steven, received his Master of Business Administration from Globe University.  It was the culmination of a long process that began several years ago.  He was unemployed, one of many caught up in the economic downturn.  Unable to find a job, he decided to use his time to pursue further education.  Barely a month after he started school, he got a call from an employment agency, telling him they had a job for him!  So, for the last couple years, he’s been working by day and going to school by night.  His graduation was a great celebration for our family!

2.     Baseball.  It was great fun following the Brewers this year.  After a slow start, they found themselves in late July and went on an extended winning streak that eventually led to a division title.  It took me back to 1982—the year of Steven’s birth—when the Brewers also had success and qualified for the playoffs.  That year, I watched the playoffs with infant Steven swaddled and sleeping on my chest.  Unfortunately, the outcomes were all too similar—both years, the dreaded Cardinals sending the Brewers down to defeat.  But one thing was the same—I got to watch the games with my son.  Now, we’re focusing on the Packers.  Dare we hope for the same success this year as last?

3.    Empty nest.  Today, Steven and Sarah began “The Great Move-Out.”  Sarah, our middle child, moved back home this summer after several years in Milwaukee, attending school and working.  She made the transition back so that she could attend graduate school at UW-Madison in social work next year.  She’s been living with us for the last few months as she got her work and financial situations stabilized.  Steven, too had been planning to move out, but had had difficulty finding a roommate.  So they found each other!  Today (November 15) they picked up their apartment keys and began moving small and fragile items.  Tomorrow afternoon, Steven and I will move the big stuff!  He’s reserved a U-Haul truck that we’ll use to pick up their new furniture on the east side of Madison and to transport their belongings from our house to their new home.  I’ve told them they need to take everything with them.  If they leave it behind, it might not be there when they get back! 

The first order of business after they move out will be to clean the garage.  It’s been a warehouse for the last four years and needs to be cleaned and straightened up.  There are a number of things we need to get rid of, like an old chest freezer and a broken-down couch.  Maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to get two cars in there this winter!

After the garage is finished, then we finish our remodeling work in the family room (trim work, touch-up painting, and a new big-screen HD TV) and convert a bedroom into an office/TV room/activity room (old TV and new desk goes there).  Down the road comes bathroom and kitchen remodeling!  They’ll be the subjects of extended postings when they happen.

It’s a time of great accomplishments, but also a time of big transitions.  We’re excited for our kids and also excited about this new chapter in our lives.  I’ll keep you posted!